Ok, today was a big day... A huge day to say the least. Today, I fulfilled two of the four of Shaun's wishes. Needless to say, it was a tough day at that. Me, along with 11 of my close friends(and kids) went to Baltimore. We went to the Ravens practice, the inner harbor, and then we ended the day with a fantastic lunch at PF Changs. (If you know Shaun, you know his love for PF Changs). Well, once again, if I haven't said it before, I am a smoker. I know it's gross, I have seen pictures of rotten lungs. I will quit. I just have been through a lot, and I am not doing it right now. Well, after we had eaten-and before desert, I decided I was going to go outside and smoke a cigarette. As I am standing outside, I saw Shaun across the road. Leaning on a pole, smiling at me. I know it sounds crazy, maybe it was heat and dehydration - but I know what I saw. He waved. I text Krissie - she came out. She didn't see him. I did. And then I told her to look again - and I looked at her - when I looked back - I didn't see him. I fell apart. Sobbing hysterically on Pratt Street in Baltimore. Felt like I was gonna pass out. I sit on a flowerbed, Krissie sits beside me. She texts Brooke to come out with napkins. She does. Here is where it gets more amazing.
I'm crying - trying to pull it together - feeling like I am losing my mind because it's been an emotional day. Two women show up out of nowhere. They ask if I am okay. I tell them yes, we all do - and they said, "We feel like we need to pray for you. Do you know Jesus?" I replied, "Yes, I do." And they said, "Wonderful." And they knelt down and began to pray with me, Krissie, and Brooke. They prayed that I would have peace over Shaun's death. They prayed for everything I have prayed for. Things that only my closest friends knew what I felt. Mind you, I am on one of the busiest streets in Baltimore. We heard no car noise, no traffic, no nothing. It was like an out of body experience. I can't even explain the peace and power these two ladies gave me. This blog cannot do it justice. But let me tell you this. God answered many a prayer for me today. Loud and Clear - 1000%. (I know it's 1000, that's not a typo.)
The ladies said they had to go - and they would see us at the gates of heaven. Then, once again, they were gone. Just like that. We sat stunned in PF Changs - crying to our other friends who witnessed what was happened, but didn't know what it was. We walk back to the parking garage - Pier 5 parking for those of you who know B-more, and there is a trumpet player. As we get closer to him, he begins to play, "I'll be there... " Me, Krissie, and Brooke cry - you can hear it all the way up to the 4th floor of the garage where our car was. Loudly. We sat in silence a good portion of the ride home.
Here is what I know today. Shaun is happy for what I did. God has his hand on me in a more powerful way than I ever thought. And nothing is impossible, impractical, or insane where he is concerned. He will do what he wants, when he wants, because he can. He loves us that much. I love him that much back.
This is what the card said, and I quote....
"Don't worry about tomorrow... God is already there! - 'For I know the plans I have for you, ' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11...
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