The Mismeasure of Man...

Okay, here goes.  And hang in there.  Years ago, when I was in college - I read book called the The Mismeasure of Man, written by Stephen Jay Gould.  Gould was a well known paleontologist and science historian.  He was a Harvard instructor.  Smart guy. But this book discusses biological determinism and it's fallacies.  Explains why the IQ tests were invented.  And it goes into deep detail about how many researchers ideas were swayed by the racist society that they lived in.  It's a tough read - but if you are into science and the like - I loved it.
Now, this is where I am going with this.  When I sat to think what to title this blog, because I can't write if I don't have a title - It kept popping in my head.  So, I thought about how this title - and what I needed to say were related.  And it came to me.  So here we are.  For those of you who know me from VA, and Lifepoint, I am sure you know one amazing woman - by the name of Ryan Major.  This woman has put herself out there publicly - about her struggles with weight and what she has done to get healthy.  She went from 308 lbs - to like 10 ounces.  Not really 10 ounces - but lets make this clear.  This weekend, she is competing in a fitness competition.  Amazing.  Literally amazes me.
Today, she posted a pic from a photo shoot she had.  And let me tell you - she looks gorgeous.  And then --- people started being mean.  A tirade of insults were hurled at her for using photoshop in the pictures.  I could not believe what I was reading.  So then I do what any facebook stalker type would do - I started clicking on the pics of the people posting the comments.  All had makeup on, hair do's, and some attempt and being presentable.  And here's the funny thing - Ryan put on the caption of the photo - there had been some photoshop!  WHO CARES - SHE LOOKS WICKEDLY AMAZING AND HOT!
It gave me rage.  Deep down, pit in your stomach, full out RAGE!  I should feel like I should pray for these people, and I have - albeit half-heartedly.  But whatever happened to being kind to other people?  Is jealously really such an overwhelming factor in people's lives, that they can only downgrade others?  If that's the case - no wonder this world is in the situation that we are in.  If you can't go through facebook and be positive - and happy for the successes you see of others - maybe you should delete your page.  Because that isn't healthy.  Or even normal.  I know, that I only put positive things on my page - or funny - or both.  But if I am having a bad day - I don't post it.  I don't say, "Wow - my kids hate me today."  Why would I post that?  It's personal and it will change.  But if it's positive, I sure do!  I want everyone to see my little successes - my kids successes - my husbands, too.
So what I want to say is this - Ryan Major - YOU ROCK! You are one strong motivator, a friend, and someone I look up to.  You are bold in your faith, your beliefs, and your heart.  You put yourself out in the public, just to help others - and unfortunately - at times it makes you a whipping post.  But thank you for being you.
And let's make the rest of the week - a time to be kind.  Just be nice people.  It's that simple.

If you want to read Ryan's story - check it here.... http://majorsmotivation.blogspot.com/p/about-ryan.html.

Messages from the Grave...

Today is mine and Shaun's anniversary.  It was a long time coming.  I know that if you follow this blog, or know me at all - you know the tumultous relationship we had up until that point, and it was truly a day for celebration.  Jeremey married us on a pier in downtown Fredericksburg.  It was a gloomy morning, and then while the ceremony was going on - the sun came through the clouds, and it was perfect.  It was never on my radar that in less than a year he would be gone.  It was a new beginning.  I felt like I had finally gotten it right.

But God's plan was bigger than mine.  Still is.  And for a reason I will never know - part of his plan was to call Shaun home.  But I do know this, I am loved.  God gave me an amazing man with Scott.  A man who loves me unconditionally.  A man who is not intimidated by my past with Shaun.  A man who is supportive.  Who believes in me.  Who lets me cry when I need to.  Who understands that just because Shaun died - doesn't mean my love for him did.  And he knows that my love for Shaun is not related to my love for him.

As soon as I typed that - I just disagreed with myself.  I am a better wife because of Shaun.  A better mom.  A better friend.  I know how fleeting life is.  I know it's important to love as hard as you possibly can.  I will never let a day go by without telling Scott how much I love him.  And I know that would make Shaun smile.  He would be proud of that for me. Shaun would be so happy at how good Scott is to the kids.  Let me rephrase that - I know that Shaun is happy for that. 

So today is bittersweet for me.  Shaun and I finally got it right - and I am thankful it was better late than never.  I know where Shaun is.  Not a doubt in my mind.  I know that God orchestrated my life to get me where I am right now.  It is absolutely amazing if you sit back and look, and see just how intricate God's plan can be.  And this morning when I got to work, I was thinking about all of that.   And then my message arrived.  And although he isn't here - he still cares. 

I will never feel like the days we had were enough.  There were many things I wish I said.  I have cried 1000x more tears than the words I wished I said.  So I am content.  I am grateful.  And I know that love and peace can surpass death anyday. 

And Scott, Thank you for being you.  And loving me.  Hot mess and all.  I love you.