What's with the Bad Vibes, Brah?

******Disclaimer - this didn't happen today.  I wrote this a few days back... Just wasn't sure if I wanted to publish it or not - because it makes me look quite damaged.  LOL!******


So, today - I have experienced rage to the Nth degree.  And, as I drove home - with my temper flaming, I realized something.... So here we go.

Picture it.  Meeting a few people for the first time.  A friends of one of my best friends.  I'm kinda nervous.  I am going into a place where I know very few people.  But - I'm friendly, right?  OF COURSE!  That's my thing.  My mom says, me and my dad have never met a stranger.   And that's true.  I get there, and everything was great!  I met everyone, thought everyone was so nice, so friendly.  Everyone was easy to talk to.  I left with a smile on my face, thinking it was a good time.

And then, BOOM!  One of the people there, a female, said she got a "bad vibe" from me.  WHAT!?  I mean...... WHAT!?  We talked.  We laughed.  We ate.  I helped her carry her packages.  She told me about her trip and hometown.  I mean, the chances of me seeing this person again - Is close to zero.

But when I heard this - it wrecked me.  And I use the term wrecked - because that's the best way I can describe it.   I felt myself bow up.  I felt the wind leave my lungs.  I was ready to fight.  I have not felt that way in years.  Let me rephrase that, decades.  And there it was.  Fighting, blind rage.  I felt like I could punch my fist through a wall.  And to be honest - my heart rate is still a little high.

So, I am driving home from work, listening to Pink(Because that's my 'go to' rage music), an trying to figure out what kind of 'vibe' - I could have possibly been giving.  And then it hit me, right around track 7, that it's not me - it's her.  I was fine, happy, and myself.  And if she doesn't like that - that's cool.  I began to feel myself calm somewhat.  I'm not gonna lie - not a lot - but somewhat.

Which then led me to think about, why did I react the way I did?  How did the girl with bad self-esteem, anger issues, and insecurity resurrect herself by one phrase.  I mean, I thought that hot mess was long gone.  And by a person that I met for 2 hours - and will probably never see again?  Crazy, right?  I know.  Add that to my list of things I need to work on.

But here is the difference between 10 years ago and now.  Within one hour, I recognized it's not worth  my emotion.  Any of it.  That being said, it still hurt me.  It's stupid, I know.  But I am just being honest.   I truly believe that energy is completely contagious.  You are gonna catch what's around you - positive and negative.  So watch what you put out there.  It just might really hurt someone more than you know.

And I hope, one day, this lady stumbles across the blog.  And maybe she will know it was her - maybe not.  But consider the things you say - and if it isn't positive or constructive - think before you speak.  Until that day... Thanks for giving me an awesome blogpost and giving me some awesome creativity fuel.  I recognize I am still a work in progress.  But I like myself.  Each day - I wake up and look in the mirror, and I smile back at myself.

My Favorite Things this April!!!!

A little Vlog about my favorite things right now!!  Little things that help me find my inner princess. 

AT&T states that they care.... I don't think they do. Let's see...

First, if you read this - please share it - post it... get it at there.  I want to see what it takes to get AT&T to stand up and do the right thing.  Because so far they haven't.  Here's the story.....

A week and half ago, I ordered two phones online.  A completely efficient, smooth, and frankly easy process.  At least, that is what I thought.  Two days later, I receive an email telling me the phones had shipped.  I was stoked!!!!  So much faster than I what I had anticipated.  Now let me backtrack a little bit.

When I checked out - AT&T informed me that there would be a signature required for the phones.  So it gave me an option to have a different shipping address.  Being a working mom, and appreciating the information- I chose to have the phones delivered to my place of employment.    Smart, right?  I thought so, too!  I mean, there is always a receptionist at the front - and this place is constantly full of people.  No way, no how, these packages could not be signed for - and... we know our FedEx guy - see him all the time, and he is mad cool.

On Monday, I check to see if it's gonna be here so I can alert everyone that if they get the phones - put them in my office.  And what do I see?  Delivery exception - returned to sender.  What!?  Why?  I was confused.  No email from AT&T with a problem, so I call FedEx.  They tell me, AT&T requested the order to be returned.

So, I call AT&T.  And the nightmare begins.  Day one - total time on phone?  Over 4 hours.  95% of that time - being on hold.  And no one knew why they were returned.  So, they would tell me that they were gonna figure it out - asked me if I would mind to hold - I agree... and 2 minutes later - a cold transfer.  I was dumped back into the phone que.  Now, I will say, every single person I spoke to, was kind.  Just had no follow through.  I end up at a call center, where it was scripted.  I understand that the guy on the other end, doesn't get a lot of what I am saying - so I just answer his questions, he gives me an escalation #, and states that someone will contact me within 48 hours.

I facebook AT&T.  I tweet them.  And to my surprise - I get a response!  Ask me to email information to them - and I did it right then.  They tell me that they will contact me asap.  FYI - STILL NOTHING FROM SOCIAL MEDIA GUY.

48 hours later....

Nothing.  So I call again.  I am apologized to, and assured I won't be dumped into a phone que.  What happens?  Dumped.  Each department thoroughly explains how I shouldn't have been transferred to them - and promises to warm transfer me to the right place.  Doesn't happen.  Nothing.  Finally, I get a supervisor - after persistence.  She does what she can. Then I am once again transferred to sales to resubmit the order.  It must go to my home address, but whatever - It's for a birthday present - and I will stop the delivery to pick it up at the FedEx place across the street from my job.

But here is what gets me.  It took hours of my time - to correct a mistake.  I spend way too much money on cell phones - but I have teenager and a tween, and myself - so, it's steep.  I pay my bill each month.  I just want what I asked for.  And I want them to do what they say that they will do.  A survey company called me, and refunded my bill 80 dollars.  A survey.  Not anyone from management.  And the girl on the survey end, was mortified, and stated "More should happen, but this is all I am allowed to do."  And I appreciate it - But I think they need to step up.  Answer for it.  My kid wanted an iPhone for her birthday.  I wanted to surprise her with it. Now I can surprise her with a pic and say... "It's coming."  And it isn't about the thing.  It's about doing what you say you will do.

If you say you will call - do it.  So AT&T - Man up.  I am including just some frustrated screen shots below... Just so you know I am not crazy. (*I never raised my voice to one person, Pull your phone logs AT&T... I apologized to the rep b/c it was mess.)

I suck. I'm sorry.

If I had a nickel for every time I have, or even should have said, "I'm Sorry" - I guarantee I would be a millionaire.  Luckily, I have to say, that the older I have gotten - the easier it is for me to say.  I don't know if it is because of all I have been through - or just one of the benefits of getting older - but I am glad it's easier for me now.  I don't wanna be someone who argues, who is hateful, but I also don't want to be a doormat.  And for me? It seems like I am one of the two.  I am either a doormat - Or a Pit-bull.  And there is absolutely no in-between.

I am working on it - and that, my friends, requires the ability to say I'm sorry.  And not saying, "I'm sorry", followed by eyeroll.  It means saying it - and then working on  yourself to do better and not commit the same offense.  (That part - is exceedingly difficult for me, too - because I often think I am right - about a lot... LOL!)

But this is where I am going.  If someone apologizes to you - let them.  Don't brush them off and say, "It's fine", or "it's over with - don't worry about it", or my favorite - "drop it."  Listen at what they have to say - because it takes courage to apologize and admit that you were at fault.  And if someone cares enough about you to apologize, take the time to listen and acknowledge.  I'm not saying it has to be some long and drawn out emotion filled scene - but acknowledge.

Today, I had to apologize.  I was blessed with someone who listened.  And after a rough day, it made me smile.  That although I had been wicked all day - and had taken out my technical frustrations on everyone around me - my apology was heard and appreciated.  And it changed my drive home.  I could smile.  And felt refreshed.  Like I had shut a door and fixed a yucky day.

Just something to think about....

Hugs - from my laptop to yours!