You can be corporate and still be kind....

First, let me start by saying, I do have a day job.  And - as far as day jobs go - I am very thankful for my job - and the folks I work with.  My teammates are some of my closest friends.  My supervisor, is awesome.  He backs us, helps us - I couldn't ask for more.  Now, that being said - I was on vacation the week before last - and it was amazing.  My best friend from VA was here - and we had a great time.  A time to decompress, catch up, and relax.  We both have a lot going on in our lives - both moms - jobs - and busy.  So just to sit and enjoy one another was a huge blessing.  I ended that week with a new sense of purpose.  Relaxed.  And a new mindset upon my "day job".

The week went pretty much like normal, and I was smiling the whole time ( that part not necessarily normal).  But I had decided to be grateful for my job.  My co-workers.  My supervisor.  And when things rose up that would normally stress me out, I took a deep breath, and I was good.  I went through the week feeling amazing.  Until the last day of the work week.

I know it could be risky writing this, but - I feel like I have to.  If I don't - I am being fake.  And my hair, nails, and tan might be fake - but my heart isn't.  So I am going to be vague to protect myself.  But just hear what I am saying.

I witnessed corporate bullying.  Not on myself - or my co-workers - so no worries there, but nonetheless.  I saw it.  And I never have seen such a spectacle in my life.  I have never been so shocked - embarrassed and hurt for the people it happened to - the level of empathy I had was out the roof.  And I thought bullying was something that kids did in a school yard.  Not in a workplace.  So I write this, to say this.  If you ever partake of "corporate bullying" - you are no better than a child in a schoolyard.  In every environment that I have ever worked in - people discuss business like people.  Intelligently, calmly, with action plans in place. To me, that seems to be the right way to do it.  Never is public humiliation, or bullying an acceptable plan.  Ever.

So I am writing this, hoping to change one heart.  Just one.  If someone reads this who believes that is a proper form of business - reevaluate.   You will never gain the respect of other people, by public shaming.  Because guess what?  Not one person will be on your side.  Every single person will feel for the person visibly shaking and trying to maintain a businesslike composure.  That is the people who are classy - the ones when provoked - who stood firm.  I don't know if I could do the same.  To be honest, I am sure I couldn't.

And if you have experienced bullying as an adult or child - remember - It is not you.  They have something, within themselves, to where that is the only way they feel powerful.  And if you can keep from screaming, feel bad for them.  I wish I could say I feel bad for them - but not yet - I am still mad.

I'm ending this with a video of my vacation - because it was awesome - and remember what relaxing and being thankful is about.  And remember - you never know what someone is going through - use your words carefully.

What's with the Bad Vibes, Brah?

******Disclaimer - this didn't happen today.  I wrote this a few days back... Just wasn't sure if I wanted to publish it or not - because it makes me look quite damaged.  LOL!******


So, today - I have experienced rage to the Nth degree.  And, as I drove home - with my temper flaming, I realized something.... So here we go.

Picture it.  Meeting a few people for the first time.  A friends of one of my best friends.  I'm kinda nervous.  I am going into a place where I know very few people.  But - I'm friendly, right?  OF COURSE!  That's my thing.  My mom says, me and my dad have never met a stranger.   And that's true.  I get there, and everything was great!  I met everyone, thought everyone was so nice, so friendly.  Everyone was easy to talk to.  I left with a smile on my face, thinking it was a good time.

And then, BOOM!  One of the people there, a female, said she got a "bad vibe" from me.  WHAT!?  I mean...... WHAT!?  We talked.  We laughed.  We ate.  I helped her carry her packages.  She told me about her trip and hometown.  I mean, the chances of me seeing this person again - Is close to zero.

But when I heard this - it wrecked me.  And I use the term wrecked - because that's the best way I can describe it.   I felt myself bow up.  I felt the wind leave my lungs.  I was ready to fight.  I have not felt that way in years.  Let me rephrase that, decades.  And there it was.  Fighting, blind rage.  I felt like I could punch my fist through a wall.  And to be honest - my heart rate is still a little high.

So, I am driving home from work, listening to Pink(Because that's my 'go to' rage music), an trying to figure out what kind of 'vibe' - I could have possibly been giving.  And then it hit me, right around track 7, that it's not me - it's her.  I was fine, happy, and myself.  And if she doesn't like that - that's cool.  I began to feel myself calm somewhat.  I'm not gonna lie - not a lot - but somewhat.

Which then led me to think about, why did I react the way I did?  How did the girl with bad self-esteem, anger issues, and insecurity resurrect herself by one phrase.  I mean, I thought that hot mess was long gone.  And by a person that I met for 2 hours - and will probably never see again?  Crazy, right?  I know.  Add that to my list of things I need to work on.

But here is the difference between 10 years ago and now.  Within one hour, I recognized it's not worth  my emotion.  Any of it.  That being said, it still hurt me.  It's stupid, I know.  But I am just being honest.   I truly believe that energy is completely contagious.  You are gonna catch what's around you - positive and negative.  So watch what you put out there.  It just might really hurt someone more than you know.

And I hope, one day, this lady stumbles across the blog.  And maybe she will know it was her - maybe not.  But consider the things you say - and if it isn't positive or constructive - think before you speak.  Until that day... Thanks for giving me an awesome blogpost and giving me some awesome creativity fuel.  I recognize I am still a work in progress.  But I like myself.  Each day - I wake up and look in the mirror, and I smile back at myself.